As much as it kills me to not see them i would at least like them to still see each other considering they were more like best friends rather then siblings they were never apart and never went anywhere without each other. Cps is just adding and adding more and more to make it to where I cant get him back. No matter how messed up it all is. Its killing me and I dont know what to do. I have been battling this now for 6 months i have no family in TN besides my father who is too sick to help i have few friends. I have put this matter into the Lords hands, to let Him do the work in His time, since theres nothing else that can be done to change things. You can email me anytime- lynnettemueser @yahoo.com. One thing I always did was took full responsibility for my own actions. He is the greatest healer the world has ever known. I believe all parental authority over the child totally ends at age 1`8, It can in some circumstances be younger, if the child petitions the court to be emancipated!! I need luck. depression after losing custody of child. 2023 Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny, All Rights Reserved, Reproduced with Permission, Our Free Book Offers Criteria to Help You Choose a Lawyer Thats Right for You, Free Download: 9 Urban Myths About Divorce That Can Hurt You, "Molly and her staff supported me completely through a drawn out divorce. I know who wins, and I know which side I am on. I dont even spank. I explained to her the law ceyong trying to ise the few minutes she waa on the phone with me telling her I miss her so much and that I am trying so hard but no one is listening. I hope your life has taken a turn for the best. They can do whatever they want whenever they want. I drank and drove and went to jail and was unable to pick my daughter up from school. If they terminate our rights, then I am going to fight the system that much harder. Philippians 2:10 promises, That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; Jesus said in Matthew 25, 26 And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. I wont go into all of it here, but make sure that you are on the right side, and pray that your children are. 2. I had moved a half hr away out of the county even to live with some friends in their house my children were set with their own room beds etc everything they needed. Im isolated and its dark and Im alone. I have NEVER seen nor heard of anything so terrible done to a child in custody of DSS by a foster worker. I do not know what route to take as I was told by an attorney if I try to go up the chain of command that it could possibly back fire on me and upset the workers. Hi I lost my kids to cps as well it started in 2008 they were ages seven three and two family friends started lies cps believe them and they took my kids finaly adoptioning them the family that started the lies in august my oldest got ahold of me and I seen my girls it felt like a huge pain was lifted but there adopted family cut me off well tried my oldest still texts me a lot its great my youngest doesnt know of me its just hard cuz know Im confused and dont know what to do and Im scared my daughter has been brainwashed or Im not good enough and I will fail her please help me I missed my two youngest first days of school and Im missing out on their life I cant get that back I have hidden this pain for a long time Im ivyness of our women who have there kids I dont wanna be that person where is the happy full of life person. I will pray for you. I think of my kids everyday. Theyve already separated my son and daughter from each other. They want our children for profit. Create . I pray for them. cps should not exist the superior family law governs especially your childrens history the minute this courts make a mistake that causes your child harm they blame you , everybody we all need to be strong the cps court in san bernardino just closed my case because i told them i would jump their hoops but i was not signing anything they wnted my signature so they closed the case i awaitto have some document statin so. I went to the court the next morning and filed and emergency petition against the petition she had put in. This posting is dedicated to the memory of Lacie Dryer, victim of CPS abuse. My house is state inspected. Usually by the time a case has reached the point of TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) it is hard to get your child back unless youve done everything on the service plan and have collected your evidence and are prepared to impress the judge at the hearing. I have been waiting to get the job I worked so hard for but because I have this founded case on my record cps has to verify and sign a paper and I have been waiting 2 months. And now their psychological evaluator has wrote a really bad report on me (it wouldve only been worse if she accused be of being Jeffery Dahmer!) I do not know if that is good. If so, do you work well together? I hired an attorney and this made DSS mad. Keep doing the next right thing. She just let it go. I too am in the same boat. Im so tired of people asking why arent you ever happy. Is it normal to feel you dont want your kids back? Shortly after news broke via The Sun on Tuesday . You dont even have to believe like they do, but just having a church family would help. Stop crying and live your life with purpose and give them a MOTHER to call the day they turn 18! I understand that grandparents have no rights in NC but rights or not, they should consider that they are dealing with human beings who have feelings and children who love the ones who care for them. And it does not seem fair that they prevented me from returning home where we were loved and could have a quality life and held me captive in a strange state where I have nothing or nobody Im praying for US all. Like I told my baby, They cannot keep us away from each other for ever. One of Gods promises is found in Romans 8:38, 39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor hings present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Holidays, birthdays and other events can spark grief even years after a loss. I finished my masters degree & have a good job now. Take walks, or whatever you most like to do. What more could DCFS want in a stable living environment? Our CPS case cant progress because my husband has criminal charges that were brought against him and if he doesnt try to fight them, he loses his job and we lose our income. Thats a good way to look at it, Shirley. You need a law firm with attorneys who: Learn more about how our Bellevue family law attorneys can help +. Perhaps youre in a state that makes you not the best parent, at least until you get your medical condition under control. You must forgive yourself. I ended up contacting Senators, Representatives, Missouris Attorney General, and our Governor, and then the Social and Health Services in Washington D.C. I pray everyday that she will have a change of heart and that she will agree to let us see each other or at least talk to each other. Thanks for the work you do on here to help people. !! It is advisable that you meet with a physician to help you figure out what is wrong, they can direct you to various mental health professionals. Facing the death of a child may be the hardest thing a parent ever has to do. With all my heart to you I say I NEVER gave you up! Its all Ive ever known. You have to do it by force. Could you give me some advice, anything helps? I have been on almost every antidepressant out there and I can say these are the best. I have made 4 attempts to contact her and her supervisor(2 attempts each in 10 days) to see if I could see my grandson and say a decent good bye. Mothers with a child taken into care had significantly greater ARR of depression (ARR = 1.90; 95% CI, 1.82 to 1.98), anxiety (ARR = 2.51; 95% CI, 2.40 to 2.63), substance use (ARR = 8. . If you find y They help with mood AND energy-have a TON of B vitamins in them! It can also become difficult for you and your child to adjust to these changes, the fact that your child has been taken from you and that you no longer have access to them can be an excruciating experience. It would cause panic. What you have is probably depressive reaction, also called "situational depression" or "adjustment disorder." This is a reaction to the shock and trauma of having your family attacked and separated. The fact is the whole time i was consider unsubstantiated ever abuse my son. Anything you create is never yours. The fight in a Mom for her babies, is one i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. Romans 8:28 doesnt promise that everything that happens is Gods will, nor that it is best for us. Lets form a national and regional company whose only mission is to help parents fight CPS and win and change laws. Work closely with your legal team to make a custody agreement that works for all three sides- you, partner, and the child. Ive suffered from extreme major depressive disorder for years but in the last two years since I havent seen my child, it has been much worse. Our lives dont always work out the way we wish. They need to know that someone really does care about them, and usually it is a parent who can do that best. Im so sorry youre going through this. I have been contemplating suicide for several days, even going to the point of holding the pills in my hand and writing out instructions on what to do with my body. My doctor knows my story and is very sympathetic to me. If I cannot keep it from destroying my family, I will do what I can to stop this from happening to any other family. Might as well try. I hope you are using this opportunity for career development. I know exactly what that feels like. this pain guilt and empty feeling is stifling what do i do? I dont blame them. I knew of many of these situations before, and thought I had a good enough support system to protect us. Do not turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort because they will only drag you down to the abyss. Dallas, The decision of where your son will live is up to the judge so do what you can to impress the judge favorably. They often have more anger, guilt, physical symptoms, greater depression, and a loss of meaning and purpose in life. Start your own movement. Dont cry, dont die, FIGHT for your babies. My son has showed up to visitation many times with marks and they have an excuse everytime. Along with attending a Bible Believing church with uplifting music; nothing has helped me through losing my children and every other tough time in my life is reading Psalms and Proverbs from the King James Bible. Maybe start an exercise routine. My grief and anger has nowhere to go. jonvaughnrealtor@gmail.com. When it comes to considering a history of depression in one of the childs parents, a judge will likely consider how long or how often depression has affected the parent, whether the parent has received treatment for the depression, and how the depression might affect a childs home life. I dont know how much longer I can take this. Poems of Sorrow and Grieving | Poetry Foundation Find more beautiful funeral poetry on Funeral Guide's other poetry pages: General condolence poetry for funerals. He is watching over them. Please trust in Jesus and write everything down! ? I have not, and will not stand down from these bullies, though. 4. The more I have/ researched, the more I realize that it isnt just us,but I want to fight. I can not even go for a walk with them with out someone with us and its not my ability to say yes to them if they ask to do things. So God could give and he could easily take. If you do not find understanding among loved ones, start communicating on the Internet. They have came home December 4 2020 from foster care due to false allegations, and then they got tooken away December 18. 108 Wild Basin Rd S Suite 250, Texas statute on Conservatorship, Possession, and Access. I have no idea where i am suppose to start to get some help for this situation. Lost life my heart goes out to you. He is there in the fog with you. The idea that the relationship between you and your child will change following a seperation with your spouse or due to other issues can be distressing. So the main differences between grief and depression are: Grief is an emotional response to the loss of loved ones, and depression is a clinical syndrome. Never will I stop doing whatever I can, which first and foremost is to pray. My house seems cold and empty, all his things are gone, and I cant even get visits. No response. But guess what! I suffer from anxiety now that I never had once before. You are not alone and there is always help. I literally just failed a hair follicle test. I never hurt her or myself. It all started when cps took all 5 of my children for domestic violence and im never going to get over it. Having another condition such as attentional problems, learning issues, conduct or anxiety disorders also puts children at higher risk for depression. Seniors may experience severe grief-related symptoms stemming from loneliness and a loss of a sense of purpose. Parents with Mental Illness and Child Custody Issues . I been praying for myself that all this will be over. Also, a story in the Bible similar to my story (I gave my child up for adoption her safety) is the story of Jochebed and Moses and Miriam. Emotional Abuse This kind of abuse is much harder to prove in court, but it can be effective grounds for the removal of custodial rights from a mother. You should be appointed an new attorney to help you with that. I got angry instead and that gave me the determination to fight against CPS to not let them get the better of me. The county gets social security fund money just for having you go to their services like psychological testing, counseling, parenting classes, etc so it is a financial benefit to them to have you doing these things, thinking all along that you might get the child back, even if they truly never intend to allow that to happen. This last time on tuesday he showed up with a gash in the side of his cheek and bruising on his head and temple. Sometimes a change from depression to content or even happiness is just a matter of perspective. Now Im a better person and I could be a better mother to my children. Thats a laugh. If you or your acquaintances need help, this article may be useful to you. If you would like to know, call me. I, too am trying to find my new identity. Sometimes it takes years to rebuild lives destroyed by drugs and alcohol. its ok count another death on your hands just after I finally rest in peace. Losing a child "is a trauma that doesn't go away," says Marsha Mailick, a social scientist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison who has studied bereavement. All I want is to be treated like a person and have a chance to see my grandson and say good bye. Youll need an accurate diagnosis of your condition, symptoms, and the treatment you undergo for depression. Become the person you were meant to be. People who have lost a child have stronger grief reactions. Though you may feel alone, there are other parents out there who have been through this. lasting longing for your deceased loved one. Expect it, and accept it, Its our destiny. I cry for my girls day and night. Im so lost in my own feelings & I feel my heart will never heel. This poem has been the second hardest thing that I have ever done. There is strength in numbers, if we continue our fight after every No we may get That One yes that could find our kids and bring them home .. Go to bed on time, eat regularly. They are very young 1 and 6 months. They lied. The following are five potential reasons why someone could lose custody due to depression or anxiety, like losing custody due to not co-parenting. Nothing is yours. Share your pain. I, too gave up a little girl for adoption. In the first stage, the person does not believe in the truth of the loss. I have over 2000 pictures of him and everything he went to foster care with was paid for by me. It feels like everyday gets worse instead of better. How pathetic, it made me hurt to see my children becoming angry with me because yet again I was denying them when their parents were the good parents because they allowed my children everything. I live in the Colorado springs area. My cousin and her husband care for and love my daughter so incredibly that I feel selfish for even trying to remain her mother and get her back. Pray for me please! when weve got nothing and all hope is gone, who do we turn to? She is my youngest of four daughters her sisters are distraught, I have to put up a front but Im dying with pain. There is also another AMAZING book I HAVE read that is called Everything Happens for a Reason. And to those of you who are Christians, remember that the Bible says that Everything works together for good to those who love the Lord. Remember the story of Joseph? I will let you all know how they work soon! I had my grandchild the day before RIPPED out of my life!!!! My children deserve to be happy. Thats extremely rare, but now if people have PD their children are often taken from them as a safety precaution for the children. Be unable to function independently. Start there. You might be withdrawing socially from your friends and loved ones who offer support. This post would have been helpful if I wasnt atheist. I found out Supervisors names, and email addresses. I can honestly my family didnt deserve this. I need someone to pray that I get my babies back. I havent seen my kids in 5 yrs now. Please pray for me and my babies as I will all of you. unwillingness of family or friends to continue talking about the loss. My kids were taken in 2000 They were 9 and 10. The tears I cry for you each day could surely fill a cup. Ill never forget Brandy who told a group of us, back in 2001, that she was too depressed and was thinking suicidal thoughts. Divorce Poem Losing Custody Of Child Poem A parent who loses custody of his child lets the child know that they are not forgotten and that he looks forward to the day they will be reunited. Eventually the truth will come out and everyone will know it. I am a great mom. Factors affecting mother-child visiting identified by women with histories of substance abuse and child custody loss. Everytime I think about all the milestones Im missing out on, all the fun things we use to do or even just having my babies in the bed cuddled up at night it kills me. Did they ever try to terminate your rights? In 1992 but for 15 months they danggled the baby in front of us like a carrot and a donkey.what I am getting at is can they do that. I miss and need them desperately. You can leave a prayer request on this page. Substance abuse is another issue that many parents face after separation and divorce . They left the terms of visitation up to him and he only lets me see them if I pay for supervised visitations. It helps a lot. I am in arizona. I had to learn to let my faith carry me and let God work and HE DID! I lost my children 3 years ago. I am loosing it and I dont know what to do my heart is broken. (2001). So, where are they? Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities. The State makes such a WAR ZONE for our families. As one other parent (I dont remember which) stated, the State bribes the teenagers with Financial Assistance, paying for college, and vouchers for clothes and supplies etc. My health and my husbands health was questioned. There is a possibility that losing custody of your child can cause you to develop Post traumatic disorder because of how stressful of an event this change can be. My family is reporting my activity to my CPS worker even though I dont want them to do this. I hope your children are returned to you soon. Im going through a similar thing now because someone was a trigger happy dss caller (although I believe her goal WAS for me to lose my kids bc she also called the actual police with horrendous accusations). I write this to you because God may have taken them for a reason. How To Gain Clarity About a CPS Investigation, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Eg3LZej0SI, A Law to Put a Dent in CPS Child Trafficking, Terms of Use, Compensation Disclosure, Privacy Policy, Request to Have Something Removed From the Site. Nothing I could have said would have made any difference if He did not soften their heart. It isnt just women! I talk to myself all the time, I lock myself in my room. I started a petition. I was honestly trying to take care of my son. We have to ADJUST. Guilt: You may feel guilty, ashamed and blame yourself for the situation which could add to your stress. I do not know how much good I have done. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Eg3LZej0SI I believe in God and I know he will work it out, but I just think I need more than just me praying for myself. So I know its not the end of the world. for all your hard work, all your tears, all the time you sacrificed but especially for being in the comments and giving your strength and kind words to the ones who need it the most. I pray for you. Im literally hurting emotionally and physically. I do go to mental health but no matter what they do it does not work ive tried to concentrate my depression into bettering myself still nothing ive tried to do many many things and nothing helps so i always keep going back to marijuana and drinkin. Putting the focus on your children, rather than your differences, is the best way to avoid unnecessary tension during your divorce. My husband has a new attorney, with a brighter perspective. First, it is important to talk to someone who can understand what you are going through. But providing safe housing and protection for a mother and children would be more cost-effective and would preserve that parent-child bond that children really need while theyre growing up. We may lose this battle, but the victory is already won. Now my grandchild is in the system and I am told I am not grandma. Ive wanted to start up something for these parents who are working to get their children back or just need a shoulder to lean on. Read this site and others like it and prepare for court with documentary evidence and legal documents. How Long After PDO Threads Can I Get Filler? This short time that we might be separated from our children will be nothing in Eternity. The hole in your heart can be filled by the Holy Spirit in fact, thats what it is there for. Another good one is Zoloft. Ive made cupcakes for charity. I believe everything happens for a reason. I just dont know I feel like giving up but I know how it feels being a foster child my self. My son is out of prison now and is working and doing well but he made a mistake he will always have to live with this. The best course of action for a parent is to present him or herself as a cooperative and reasonable adult who is trying his or her best to work with the other parent, to maintain an open line of communication regarding the children, and to maintain an air of cooperation when it comes to making decisions about the children's well-being. Try to communicate with the other parent/guardian so that there is an open line of communication.. Seek out professional help to manage stress through therapy. Mommys coming!! 2. then go pass letter, mail them, make a website, build a chest and put stuff in it for them, do it online or in real life, make it a point to see where they shop, dont stalk them, but make it a point to be around them. Talk to your doctor about your depression. Did your children comeback to you when they grew up? Please help!!!! You gave her everything by doing that-you did NOT give her UP, you gave TO her. One factor that you may not have considered is depression and child custody. Let that truth be that their mom has always, always loved them. Will this ever end? The fact is that people often feel numb as if everything around froze, and time slowed down. the social worker isnt the one who makes the final decision. Actually, I was the one who called the law on him! A lot of adopters are open to this. We were an hour from being discharged and they stole him. He was taken when he was eleven months old. Is there any way to speak with you over the phone? Im so sorry. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness. My granddaughter told me that her foster dad was putting a pillow over her face in her bed I reported this as advised by a child advocacy group to report it to the state police in the foster familys county . Did cps take them and you were able to get them back or you are able to see them through the foster parents. Remember, anything with sugar will cause a high then a low due to blood sugar changes. In this article we have discussed the mental health issues that parents struggle with when they lose custody of their children. I lost my children 16 years ago. Child custody, access and parental responsibility: The search for a just and equitable standard. The adoptive family had my youngest on Prozac at age 7. healthy chicken and broccoli bake. Too many people get to judge me when they are worse parents than Ive ever been and I just feel very alone. What can I do for my grandson ? Please pray for me.. this has been a month from hell. My kids were taken because of excessive discipline. She had lost custody and had spent all of her savings to fight him in family court. I just cant get over this. Mandi, this site was started because I went through something like what you went through. 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Sides- you, partner, and will not stand down from these bullies, though could lose of... Know that someone really does care about them, and time slowed down to continue talking the. Been helpful if I wasnt atheist the determination to fight whenever they want researched! Considered is depression and child custody loss your life has taken a for! Than Ive ever been and I dont know what to do women with histories of abuse. For me.. this has been the second hardest thing a parent who understand! After news broke via the Sun on Tuesday first and foremost is to treated! They have came home December 4 2020 from foster care due to false,. Of meaning and purpose in life count another death on your hands after. Mission is to pray worker isnt the one who makes the final decision did not give her up, gave. My daughter up from school him in family court could add to your.... Them through the foster parents mandi, this article we have discussed mental... 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